Thursday, September 18, 2014

Tune in To This...

You guys, I have been spinning and twirking around my house for the past couple of weeks to TSwift's "Shake it Off".  I can't get it out of my head!  If you walked in during any particular cleaning/cooking or… breathing stint here at the homestead you would walk right out blushing.  In the heat of the moment I can't bring myself to care.  It just gets under my skin.  And I should go with it while it's still fresh and not annoying, right?  But seriously, kudos to all the musical artists out there because at present there are some killa tunes that are tickling my ear drums.
Here is my newest "Awesome Tunes" Playlist guaranteed to help you get to it...
Whatever "it" is… :)  
Tsk, Tsk Tsk - Naughty.  
Speaking of… this really is kind of a naughty playlist so maybe it's for the ear buds as you run and not for those cleaning the toilets, blasting from the home speakers moments.  It's always a little humiliating when your kid spouts out the words to "Talk Dirty to Me" as you're walking the halls at church.  Not that I would know?

But do let it be known that I took a three-four week end of summer hiatus from working out and this list right here was the magic that got me to lace up my running shoes again.  Phew.  I tell myself I will never take long breaks because then I have to START OVER… but here I am… starting over. 
Insert Cusswords and Foul Hashtags.

1.  TSwift - Shake it Off (The video cracks me up.  Watch it on YouTube!)
2.  Meghan Trainor - All About the Bass
(This one rocks my socks off too, plus how cute is she shakin' her booty like a boss?)
3.  Katy Perry - This is How We Do
4.  Iggy Azalea - Fancy (Obvs, because it's just so fitting.)
5.  Ariana Grande - Problem
6.  Jason Derulo - Wiggle
(It features Snoop Dogg and it's about wiggly cheeks.  I may or may not be able to relate)
7.  Jason Derulo - Talk Dirty to Me 
(Yep, My kids know the chorus and sing it at the most irreverent moments)
8.  Kesha - Tik Tok
9.  Magic! - Rude
(This is my new "Red Red Wine" from my UB40 Reggae days... ah, those were good days!)
10.  Happy - Pharrell Williams
(Because that one will probably never leave my awesome tunes playlist.  I am nothing without a good, positive spin on life.)

So tell me - should I add any other new faves to my list?  'Cause Lawd knows I'll be needing some extra inspiration when my alarm clock goes off and it's pitch black and COLD-- In like, a week.


Tuesday, September 16, 2014

The Cost of Beauty...

In my perfect world, I would get ready with a make-up counter that looked liked this...dreamy right?
Clear Acrylic Cosmetics Organizer Storage Box with built in Brush Holder

But in my world of make-up reality, I face this...

The seemingly, bottomless, overflowing bag of beautifying products that are often lost in this ugly, burgundy hued, cluttered abyss. Are you nodding your head cuz you totally feel my pain?

Like..what is it with girls and make-up hoarding? I'll tell you...

The problem with mounds and mounds of make-up stacks up to two clear points...(that sounds so official..maybe I should make a power point presentation;)

Point A- Most brands of make-up that I not only have quick access to but can afford are located at my local Walmart or drug store. And as high-end ;) retailers, they do not let you test out a product like the Mac counter at Macy's does. So we get stuck with what we buy to try. And we can all testify to the fact that not all eyeshadows and lipsticks go on as the color they portray in the packaging. Who knew a slight shimmering shadow could turn out to be a Dolly Parton glitter-gone-bad wreck? 
Bad makeup is the WORST! This video tutorial shows you all the things NOT to do when applying makeup.
Point B- Make-up is just plain expensive. And who wants to part with an eyeshadow you just dropped 8 bucks on? No one..that's who. Especially if maybe you splurged and bought some  Bobby Brown or Estee that you just aren't feelin anymore.  So the stash grows and grows and you convince yourself as you are trying to purge that you are certain you will wear it sometime. Which..if we are being honest..never happens. I mean really..the only time I've ever thrown away an eyeshadow or if I've dropped it and the powder has crumbled into unsalvagable pieces ("unsalvagable" being the key word here because I have been known to scoop it back into its case and continue to use it). 

And don't worry..I just found out about this Pin of knowledge, crumbled powders are now a non-issue. Alcohol? Who knew? 
How to fix broken eyeshadow by adding rubbing alcohol. Also works for blush, bronzer, foundation, etc.

You're Welcome!

And now you are more the wiser. We ladies love the products that make us feel/look gorgamous! And who can blame us? So we either need bigger organization make-up products and/or storage bags or there needs to be a DI or local thrift store specifically for make-up/ beauty products that we can trade in or with. 


Thursday, September 11, 2014

Coo Coo for Coco…

You guys, I'm gonna come clean and confess that I've jumped on yet another band wagon.  My name is Amber, and I'm recently obsessed with Coconut Oil.
There, I said it.  
Do I profess to know about any long lasting superior qualities coconut oil has to other vegetable oils?  

Have I done in depth reading about the benefits of coconut oil in personal hygiene related practices?

So why the sudden uptick in my purchase of the big friendly barrel of the stuff at Costco?
It's simple.
Dude… it's coconut.

I have a love affair with Hawaii and all tropical locations in general.  The smell brings out my inner sun goddess and my most romantic of memories from tropical rendezvous with the hubs.  AND, if it's a product that I can lazily use for multiple purposes?  I'm all in.
So here's how I've been using it like an addict lately…

Oil Pulling.  I've gone there, guys.  Several times a week after I've brushed and flossed I put a spoon full of coconut oil in ma' mouth and swish those goods for ten minutes or so.  I've heard coconut oil has antibacterial qualities and you all know I have a less than stellar track record at the dentist… so why not?  I'll have to report back to you during my next six-month cleaning for any actual results, but it's cheap and easy and makes me feel like I'm doing something to fight the good fight.  Side bonus... several people have told me my teeth are looking whiter than usual lately.  If that's all it does - me and my vanity will keep on swishing.

Oil Hair Mask?  I'm not sure what to call it, actually.  I have been coating my second or third day hair (mostly the ends) in our island scented balm and plopping it atop my head in a bun for a good overnight conditioning treatment.  It seriously feels niiicceee the next day after I shower and blow my hair out.  Again… there is no scientific evidence I've drudged up to prove any one portion of what I'm saying, but it smells good - feels good - and kinda makes me feel as if I'm being proactive against the ongoing fight against split ends.  And we all know that's a war we have to wage with vigilance.

Lastly, I've made approximately 30 loaves of zucchini bread this summer/fall and at least half of those batches have contained coconut oil.  Those loaves taste better.  I swear on my life.  They stay moister.  I swear on my life.  And as for the health aspect?  Doesn't matter... I'm not having another slice of zucchini bread until next year because, duh, you can only have so much of a good thing before you loathe the very sight of it.

I've heard people say they wash their face with coconut oil?  Listen, me and my face ain't gonna be putting something that has the word OIL straight up on my face.  That's the road to a million zits, isn't it?  Coach me... cause I could probably be convinced with a firm argument.  I'm clearly a coconut believer.
And for something that has so much hoopla around it - I'm surprised at myself.  I usually stay away just  to spite the most recent crazy craze.  You know, let it have it's moment in the spotlight and then try it out once all the madness dies down?

But coconut oil.
I'm a believer.
And I could maybe survive a la Tom Hanks on Castaway surrounded by coconuts.

Tuesday, September 9, 2014

How To Catch A Shoplifter...

So lets talk about how the other day I ran after two shoplifters in my non-stretchy pencil skirt and sandals. That's right guys...I'm a 34 year old mom of five, bad-A who will take you down..all in the name of justice.

For reals tho..have you guys ever worked retail and had one of these adrenaline pumping experiences? It's a pretty big rush and now I wanna be a cop who can intimidate all these teenage, punk kids who think they are invincible and above the law #realitycheck

And this little piggy went to the market shoplifted, and got caught.

These two girls walked into my work and started trying on Miss Me jeans (goin for gold those girls were.. at $110 bucks a pair). My sa-weet intuition is really the winner here because I had a bad feeling about these two the minute they walked in. So I kept an extra close spy eye on them. 

After a little while and a few checks to make sure they were "finding everything OK" I ran outside to tell my hubs thanks for the snow cone that he had just brought to me #isnthethebest? But I covered my stake-out operation and had another employee on the sitch-e-ation. 

I literally was gone for like two minutes but when I got back they were MIA...whaaa? And there were only 2 pairs of jeans instead of the 4 they had taken in the dressing room. Red flags were popping up all over in my mind and I knew they had taken them. I ran outside and saw them clear across the street. Time to move! I ran back inside and told the other employees I was goin after them. Are you guys on the edge of your seats yet?

As soon as I realized that walking wasn't gonna cut it, I stared running as fast as my confining skirt would allow. All the while using my MacGyver stealth moves and thinking "I shoulda grabbed my cell phone....what if they see me and start running...there are 2 of them and only 1 of me..what the crap am I gonna do when I get to them?" 

I finally caught up to them, hollered for them to stop, and surprisingly they did. Then while trying to control my outta shape, heavy breathing, I nonchalantly asked them where the other pants were and they said they had put them then I said "OK..can you just pull back the waistband on your sweats"..I brave am I? But lo and behold....the missing jeans. 

I grabbed their arms so fast and told them to come with me...and this point my heart was literally gonna burst outta my chest..running plus catching shoplifters equal adrenaline city. I was trying to act all cool but inside I was all over the place. At one point one of the girls asked if I could let go of her arm (I may or may not have been squeezing a little too hard) But I was not about to have to hike my skirt up with my skivvies hanging out and chase them all over again...although..let's be honest..I totally would have.

this can be interpreted in a right way and a wrong way...

Back inside the store, while we called the cops and waited for parents to show up..I chatted with the girls and asked them if it was worth it. I wish I could say it was a Dr. Phil-change your life-ah-ha-moment. But these girls had no remorse and could have cared less. It made me sad for them and the road they were headed. I also took this opportunity to tell my own kids that if I ever got a phone call from them in a similar situation, that I'd happily let the cops take them to Juvy so they could have some reflection time ;)

Free bracelets with each theft. #shoplifting #crime -- Curated by: Desert City Security Inc. | 2277 Turnberry Place, Kamloops, Bc, V1S 1S8 | 250-828-8778
So clearly, the lessons here not steal and especially do not steal from me #notinmyhouse 

And to celebrate my win guys..Amber and I are doing a fab giveaway to of our faves. This way you'll have a $25 gift card and less of a reason to shoplift and have me come after you;) Head over to our Instagram (link on the right) to enter!

Fist bumps all around!

Ash aka robber-catcher

Friday, September 5, 2014

Winner Winner...

Hey Y'all!  Happy Friday!
Just a quick post to let you know that we have a winner for our School Boogs giveaway!
Lisa B. please leave a comment with your contact information so we can ship our your germ zappers to you asap!

Thanks to everyone for entering and thanks to Melisa for sponsoring!

Now off to RedBox and Papa Murphy's to pick up the makings of a "Friday night Experience"...
You know exactly what I'm talkin' about!


Thursday, September 4, 2014

Over it All...

Welcome back!  I feel like we should just go right ahead and play "Friendship Bingo" and then talk about what we did during summer vacation just like the good old days when we sharpened our pencils and wore our newest head-to-toe outfits for the start of school.  

In some ways I'm thrilled to be penciling things into the fall months of the calendar at a rapid rate... and in others I feel like mourning the loss of summer a little bit.  Oh you too?  OK, I'll get over it.

Let's move on to clothes... a logical transition indeed.
Just like I wore during third grade and then again in ninth grade... I present my newest OB-session.  
The overalls.
Don't I know it, y'all.  Don't I know it.
I bemoaned the return of Neon and then I wore it in droves.  Now here I am eating crow online because whodathunkit?  I freakin' love my Old Navy dream boats pictured in the crappiest quality photo of all time ever.  Hashtag I suck at selfies (as previously noted).
And do you know why I love them so?  
"Why, Amber?  Do tell..."
Because they fit but they don't.  And that's kind of the point, right?
Feeling the effects of a mid-week trip to the Olive Garden aka carb central?
No prob - put on your overalls, babes.

Do you have a visitor coming this week and you know you won't like her - hence the hormonal zit that looks like a third eyeball right smack in the middle of your forehead and the slight bloating?
No prob - pull out your overalls.
{And have some chocolate - you deserve it}
Gotta mow the lawn, pick up kids from preschool, get your grocery shopping done, go to a soccer game and then meet some friends for dinner?
No prob - get a 44 ounce Diet Coke and then put those sexy numbers on, already!

I'm serious, I feel like they're weird enough to be just about perfect for almost any scenario.  You know the old saying, "If it doesn't match anything it goes with everything"?  
Yep - that's the new and improved overall.
Or so I think.
I might change my mind and plead ignorance next month.  No promises.

Your slightly bonkers friend in fashion or faux pas.
Don't knock 'em til you try 'em.

PS - Mine are currently out of stock?  {See - they might be popular after all!}  They are called the Old Navy Grunge Overall and they were a whopping $36 during a 30% off sale.  That's how I roll.

PPS - Enter our giveaway!  It ends tomorrow.

Tuesday, September 2, 2014

Entrepreneur 101...

I grew up in a business minded family. My smart, ol' college drop-out of a grandpa started the family biz back in like 1926 and it's been goin strong ever since. #whoneedsschoolanyways 

So business and ideas run deep in our blood and if you've ever had a convo with our fam, you know it always ends up on the business side of life. You're wondering where I'm going with this..ok..ok..

I'm an endless pit of ideas. Clearly..not great ones or I'd be typing this on a brand new Mac in the middle of my private island..instead of on my 7 year old PC that battles pop-ups despite our anti-virus purchase on a computer desk not made of real wood that we put together from a box 15 years ago. Do you feel bad for me yet ;) 

Mostly I really want to be filthy rich so my husband can see my kids every so often #upshourssuckrocks and live the ideal life of vacations and financial freedom..and of course I would donate to charities and all that good stuff. So I like to dream big...sue me. 

And as these ideas come to me, I honest to Jesus think they are bonafide, money-making genius ideas. And ask my husband (bless his supportive heart..even though I know he's secretly rolling his eyes at this crazy wifey of his)....I've even ventured out a time or seven to bring these dreams to reality. Writing children's books (because how hard can it be?), bow and belt making, scrapbook store ownership..really the list goes on. And have I succeeded? Well the store stayed afloat..until we sold it 3 years later, I have no deals with any publishing company and if you ever need bow or belt packaging, I'm your gal.

There Are No Bad Ideas by Micheelle Arguelles | La Beℓℓe ℳystère

So when another fab idea popped into my head the other day as I was vacuuming (you know... when most good ideas come) I knew I had to call Amber to let her know we would soon be trading in our Old Navy flip-flops for some Christian Louboutin heels (just kidding..I could never spend hundreds on shoes..except for maybe on these)
Christian Louboutin Shoes online,Christian Louboutin Shoes outlet

"Not Your Grandma's Tablecloth"

Pretty catchy eh? It really was a stroke of genius. Who uses tablecloths anymore? Besides my mom and mother-in-law? I don't even own one..ok, I own ONE but it's a vinyl orange one, covered in spiders that I only use for Halloween parties..and who gave it to me? My mother-in-law! So my idea was to rework and revamp the tablecloth...making it into a must have for women and moms like muah. It could be the new chevron, the new parachute pant, the new grey, the new craftsman style home. I'm was certain I would be the newest trend setter in home decor. You guys love it right?

Then I really thought about it for like another 20 minutes and I realized what a lame-o idea it was. Tablecloths? Really? And besides that, it would be so much work (and who wants to work for their millions these days) and where do I start and blah..blah..blah. So I didn't call Amber and I finished my vacuuming and that was the end of another great or not-so-great idea. 

The End


Disclaimer..if any of you steal my tablecloth idea and company name and make billions of dollars, I better get a cut. And besides that, after writing this, I'm really rethinking may be my one genius idea after all.